Best comedy movie quotes of 1995

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Movie Quote Quiz
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls picture

Ace: Tell them what I'm saying. [To Wachootoo tribe] I come in peace.
Ouda: White devil say, "I will harm you."
Ace: I couldn't help but notice that Eqinsu Ocha part. Did you just refer to me as White Devil?
Ouda: This how they know you.
Ace: Leave that part out from now on. [To tribe] I represent the princess.
Ouda: I am a princess.
Ace: War is hell. The last thing we want is a fight.
Ouda: I want to fight. So go to Hell.

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Dracula: Dead and Loving It picture

[Renfield is being seduced by Dracula's brides.]
Renfield: This is wrong. Do you hear me? Wrong. This is...WRONG ME! WRONG ME! WRONG MY BRAINS OUT!

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Friday picture

Smokey: I got mind control over Debo. When he here, I be quiet, but when he leave, I be talkin' again.

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Now and Then picture

Teeny: Chrissy, truth or dare?
Chrissy: Truth.
Teeny: Have you ever been french kissed?
Chrissy: Are you kidding? I don't want to get pregnant!
Roberta: You can't get pregnant from french-kissing!
Chrissy: I know that, beetle-brain, but it's common knowledge that if you tongue-kiss a boy, he automatically thinks you'll do the deed with him. They can't help it. They're driven. It's the male curse.

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Jumanji picture

[Alan is explaining to Sarah why Van Pelt is chasing him.]
Sarah: Well, have you ever thought about sitting down and talking about your differences?
Alan: What are you, crazy? The man has a gun.
Sarah: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan. Ever. Because everyone in this town has been calling me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.

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Toy Story picture

Buzz: I just want you to know that although you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Woody: Oh, well, that's good.
Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we?
Woody: No.

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Tank Girl picture

Tank Girl: You gotta think of it like...the first time you got laid. You just gotta go 'Daddy, are you sure this is right?'.

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Waiting to Exhale picture

Gloria Matthews: Would you like to have dinner with us tonight? It's just leftovers. Collard greens and corn bread, some candied yams, a little potato salad, fried chicken, peach cobbler and a few slices of ham.
Marvin King: I would love to, but I've got so much to do around here. Maybe some other time.
Gloria Matthews: To be honest, I don't have no business eating any of it as big as I am.
Marvin King: My wife was a big woman too. I like a woman with some meat on her bones.

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Bad Boys picture

Marcus Burnett: Oh, man, that was cold.
Detective Sanchez: Yeah, so was your mama's bed.

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Major Payne picture

Cadet Stone: If I'm the new squad leader, then my first order is to SCREW YOU, SIR!
Major Payne: What'd you say to me turd?
Cadet Stone: Why don't you go back to hell where you came from?
Major Payne: Boy, I am five seconds from being on you like white on rice with a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. I'll put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst.
Cadet Stone: Try it.

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Get Shorty picture

Chili Palmer: Harry, look at me. You're trying to tell me you fucked up without sounding stupid, and that's hard to do.

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Tommy Boy picture

Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: I know. They're called doctors.

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To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar picture

Sheriff Dollard: When the founding fathers wrote the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, what have you. "Liberty and justice for all", they didn't mean that.
Farmer: I can tell you one thing about them founding fathers of America.
Sheriff Dollard: What's that?
Farmer: They sure had fabulous wigs.

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French Kiss picture

Kate: Spasm! Spasm! Oh, God, here it comes... lactose intolerance.

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It Takes Two picture

Diane Barrows: You know, I really thought it was that can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over - the-fence, World Series kind of stuff.

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Houseguest picture

Ron Timmerman: I wash my balls religiously. I like 'em so clean you can just feel every dimple.
Kevin Franklin: Thank you for sharing that.
Ron: The cleaner the ball, the better the play. Especially when you pull out that wood. The quicker you get it into the hole with the least amount of strokes, the better, right?
Kevin: Are you trying to tell me something?
Ron: Let me wash your balls.

Bishop73
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Sabrina picture

Sabrina: Paris is always a good idea.

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Billy Madison picture

High School Principal: Mr. Madison, what you've just said, is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listen to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Billy Madison: Ok, a simple "wrong" would have done just fine.

Bishop73
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Something to Talk About picture

Wyly King: You know you were lucky to get her the first time.
Eddie Bichon: It was a damn miracle.

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Two Much picture

Art Dodge: For me there is only Rimbaud.
Liz Kerner: Rimbaud? Why?
Betty Kerner: Well, it's obvious. He's the original. I mean, Seagal and Van Damme are just cheap imitations.

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