Best comedy movie quotes of 1994

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective picture

Ace Ventura: Aaalll righty then.

More Ace Ventura: Pet Detective quotes
The Mask picture

The Mask: Our love is like a red, red rose... And I am a little thorny.

More The Mask quotes
Forrest Gump picture

Forrest Gump: Bit me directly in the but-tocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the Army must keep that money, 'cause I still ain't seen a nickel of that million dollars.

More Forrest Gump quotes
Dumb and Dumber picture

Lloyd: This didn't come out of our travel fund.
Harry: Oh.
Lloyd: Yeah, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.
Harry: Where did you get 25 extra bucks?
Lloyd: I sold some stuff, to Billy on 4C.
Harry: The blind kid?
Lloyd: [Laughing.] Yeah, yeah.
Harry: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd: You know, stuff.
Harry: What kinda stuff?
Lloyd: Few baseball cards, a sack of marbles, [coughs.] Petey.
Harry: Petey? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lloyd, wh- he- wha- Petey didn't even have a head!
Lloyd: Harry, I took care of it.

More Dumb and Dumber quotes
Clerks picture

[Randal reads a newspaper while a customer studies two rental choices.]
Customer: They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good.
[Randal continues reading, not even ackowledging her.]
Customer: Are either of these any good?
[Randal continues to read.]
Customer: Sir!
Randal: What?
Customer: Are either of these any good?
Randal: I don't watch movies.
Customer: Well, have you heard anything about either of them?
Randal: No.
Customer: You've never heard anybody say anything about either movie?
Randal: I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.
[The customer turns around, then turns back with the same two movies.]
Customer: Well, how about these two movies?
[Randal still never looks up.]
Randal: They suck!
Customer: I just held up the same two movies. You're not even paying attention.
Randal: No, I wasn't.
Customer: I don't think your manager would appreciate...
Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Randal: Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.
Customer: I only pointed out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.
Randal: I hope it feels good.
Customer: You hope what feels good?
Randal: I hope it feels so good to be right. There is nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Customer: Well this is the last time I ever rent here...
Randal: You'll be missed.
Customer: Screw you!
[The customer storms out. Randal runs out into the street.]
Randal: Hey you're not allowed to rent here anymore!
Jay: Yeah!

More Clerks quotes
Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult picture

Frank Drebin: Hey, Rocco. Who's the old bag? She take one in the face?
Rocco: She's my mother.
Frank Drebin: Oh. Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.
Mrs. Dillon: I am.

More Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult quotes
True Lies picture

Gib: Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em.

More True Lies quotes
Reality Bites picture

Troy Dyer: I've wanted you like this for all these years.

More Reality Bites quotes
The Little Rascals picture

A.J. Ferguson: Now the race course is marked off with arrows, and it ends right back here, where it started from.

More The Little Rascals quotes
Double Dragon picture

Koga Shuko: I just want total domination of one major American City! Is that too much to ask for!? Is it? Is it? Huh?

More Double Dragon quotes
Airheads picture

Chazz: Who'd win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?
Chris Moore: Lemmy.
[Rex imitates a game show buzzer.]
Chris Moore: God?
Rex: Wrong, dickhead. Trick question. Lemmy is God.

More Airheads quotes
The Paper picture

Michael McDougal: This is great! This is great! It writes like butter. I mean, there is actual butter coming out of my pen.

More The Paper quotes
City Slickers 2 picture

Mitch: Don't mess with us! We're from New York.
Duke: If you ever talk to me like that again, I'm gonna turn your balls into earrings.
Mitch: Go for it.

More City Slickers 2 quotes
The Cowboy Way picture

Officer Sam 'Mad Dog' Shaw: Where you guys from, Texas?
Pepper: Texas? Ain't no real cowboys from Texas, we're from New Mexico.

More The Cowboy Way quotes
Trapped in Paradise picture

Shaddus Peyser: What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

More Trapped in Paradise quotes
Little Big League picture

Margaret Sullivan: Isn't that wonderful? Your Grandfather gave you the twins.
Billy Heywood: I would rather have my Grandfather.

More Little Big League quotes
In The Army Now picture

Bones: I've seen lots of camel toes before, but never on a camel.

More In The Army Now quotes
Renaissance Man picture

Bill: You got the wrong file. When have I ever been a teacher?
Beverly: Look, you've got a Masters degree, that means you can teach.
Bill: No it doesn't. No, it only means hypothetically that I could.
Beverly: Come on, Bill. Now it's a good job. Six weeks. A decent salary. And you get to live there.
Bill: Beverly, I...I'll get my head blown off. Do you know how many kids carry guns to school these days?
Beverly: In this case all of them. I guess you didn't get to the "where" part.

Bishop73
More Renaissance Man quotes
The Madness of King George picture

Warren: When will you get it into your head that one can produce a copious, regular and exquisitely turned evacuation every day of the week and still be a stranger to reason.

More The Madness of King George quotes
Baby's Day Out picture

FBI Agent Dale Grissom: You're surrounded! Throw down the Boo Boo and put your hands over your head.

More Baby's Day Out quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.