Harry Stone: Who's first, Mac?
Mac: People versus Shibata.
Harry Stone: To what do we owe the pleasure of Mr. Shibata's company?
Dan Fielding: Well, sir, it seems Mr. Shibata was caught rolling for dollars with, um, these three rarely upstanding women.
Harry Stone: All three? That's illegal. And quite impressive.
Dan Fielding: When he was apprehended he had a fifty gallon drum of soy sauce and they were in the middle of something called a "Sukiyaki Slam-bam."
Christine Sullivan: Uh, sir, uh, while neighbors in adjoining rooms did complain for over seven hours I believe that Mr. S...
Mac/Harry/Dan: Seven hours?!
[Mr. Shibata bows to Dan, Harry, and Mac and they bow back]
Dan Fielding: My god, man, how do you do it?
Mr. Shibata: Every day, I swim ten miles, eat one hundred oysters and sit in a barrel of pickle brine.
Dan Fielding: [to stenographer] You got that?
Megatron: Is there anyone brave - or stupid enough - to oppose us? This city is under martial law... and I am the marshal.
Capt. Ronald Merrick: Are you one of those people who think that if you teach an Indian the rules of cricket he'll become an English gentleman?
Guy Perron: Hardly sir. I know quite a few English gentlemen who play cricket brilliantly but are absolute shits.
Samantha Micelli: Now dad remember. Smile, be polite, and whatever you do don't tell the pig joke.
Tony: That one is the real ice breaker.