Randall Peltzer: Well, that's the story. So if your air conditioner goes on the fritz. Or your washing machine blows up. Or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds. Cause you never can tell. There just might be a gremlin in your house.
Job: Don't worry, Mister. You'll be safe here. Isaac and Malachai don't know about this place.
Burt Robeson: Enough! Who are Isaac and Malachai?
Job: Isaac started the whole thing. He's a boy preacher who came to this town three years ago. At nine-years-old back then, he had a charming way that appealed to all the kids and teens like us to follow him with his own teachings of the bible and of the Old Testiment. But me and Sarah thought he was just plain weird.
Captain Hollister: What's to stop me from having you erased right here and now?
John Rainbird: My word - that I've already made certain provisions that should I "disappear", The Shop will cease to exist within six weeks. And within six months, you will stand in front of a judge awaiting sentence for crimes serious enough to keep you behind bars for the rest of your life.
Samantha Belmont: So did you make it with him last night?
Regina Belmont: Who?
Samantha Belmont: The Good Humor man, who do you think?
Regina Belmont: Geez, is that what's bugging you?
Samantha Belmont: That's no answer, man.
Regina Belmont: No I didn't make it with him last night. Why are you so weirded out?
Samantha Belmont: Oh right Reg, why should I be weirded out? My sister, who swiped every guy I ever had my eye on, has now swiped the last guy in the whole freaked out world.