Best comedy movie quotes of 1981

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Movie Quote Quiz
Neighbors picture

Ramona: He tried to pork me.
Earl Keese: Pork you? What?
Ramona: You know you did.
Earl Keese: I swear, I never touched her.
Ramona: Well, I wasn't born with your hand in my bush.
Earl Keese: Enid... help me.

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Zorro, the Gay Blade picture

Bunny Wigglesworth: There is no shame in being poor! Only in dressing poorly.

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The Cannonball Run picture

Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing: I'm Nikolas Van Helsing, professor of proctology and other related tendencies. A graduate of the University of Rangoon. And assorted night classes at the Knoxville Tennessee school of faith healing.
J.J. McClure: You may be a little over qualified for this job.

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Modern Problems picture

Darcy: Max, please, what is the matter with you lately? I was kidding.
Max Fielder: Look at my face. I can't go to dinner like this. Look.
Darcy: Your face looks fine.
Max Fielder: I'm not going. I'm staying up here.
Darcy: Max. Max, you promised me that you would try to relax and be close to me this weekend.
Max Fielder: You were only kidding?

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Student Bodies picture

The Breather: [On the phone.] I'm gonna kill next at the football game. Click.
Ms. Van Dyke: Did you hang up?
The Breather: No, I just said "click."

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Stripes picture

John Winger: C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin.
Russell Ziskey: Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!

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An American Werewolf in London picture

Alex: David, please be rational. Let's go and see Dr. Hirsch.
David: Yeah, be rational. Sure. I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake.

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Arthur picture

Susan: Arthur, a real woman could stop you outside from drinking...
Arthur: Yeah, but she'd have to be a real BIG woman!

Lee Donovan
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S.O.B. picture

Sally Miles: You know, you are sexually notorious.
Tim Culley: Semi-fraudulent reputation - which I do everything I can to encourage.
Sally Miles: Why?
Tim Culley: Because it's the best way for an old man to compete in a young man's world.

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Polyester picture

Francine Fishpaw: Coitus Interruptus?

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It's Magic, Charlie Brown picture

Lucy van Pelt: Linus, have you seen Charlie Brown?
Linus van Pelt: Nobody has seen him since Snoopy's magic show. I just talked to Sally, and she said even when you look at him, you don't see him.
Lucy van Pelt: What's that supposed to mean? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

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Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie picture

Yosemite Sam: Where am I? It sure is powerful warm in here. Is this Dallas?
Satan: No, but you're close.

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Gregory's Girl picture

Gregory: Go do something your own age, like demolish a phonebox!

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Zombie Lake picture

Morane: Let's get away from this heap of hicks.

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Caveman picture

Atouk: Zug-zug.

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Condorman picture

Krokov: Have you seen this report on this Condorman? On this man Wilkins? He is an amateur, do you hear? He is not an agent of the CIA! He is a writer of comic books.

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Time Bandits picture

Wally: Do you mean you knew what was happening to us all the time?
Supreme Being: Well, of course. I am the Supreme Being, I'm not entirely dim.

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The Great Muppet Caper picture

Dorcas: What would you buy if you were bored?
Neville: Uh... a jar of calf's foot jelly.

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History of the World: Part I picture

Narrator: See: Hitler on Ice.

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Shock Treatment picture

Frankie: Cheerleaders: They call us the goody goody two shoes/ We're here to cheer you with the good news/ That D-E-N-T-O-N gets T-E-N/ That's ten out of ten.

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