Boring Prophet: There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
[The staff of MI6 are watching a large screen that shows Bond and Dr. Goodhead making love in space.]
Minister: My god, what's Bond doing!?
Q: I think he's attempting re-entry, sir.
Abraz: Bullshit. Who sent you here, boy? Did that chickenshit asshole Raphael send you, boy?
Chance the Gardener: No. Mr. Thomas Franklin told me I must leave the old man's house. He's dead, you know.
Abraz: Dead, my ass. You tell that asshole, if he got somethin' to tell me, to get his ass down here himself! You got that, boy?
Prison Guard: Your painting privileges have been removed.
Prison Guard: I don't know.
Rocky Balboa: I just got one thing to say... to my wife at home: Yo, Adrian! I DID IT.
Riff Randell: Tom Roberts is so boring his brother is an only child.
Mike: I know you're not going to believe this, but these things were here, right in the garage, and they were going to get me.
Jody: Aww, give me a break, would you?
Mike: They were jumping on the car and making these weird sounds.
Jody: You're sure it wasn't that retarded kid, Timmy, up the street?
Mike: No, it was the same thing that chased me last night.
Colonel "Madman" Maddox: Identify yourself.
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: Captain Wild Bill Kelso, United States Army Air Corps. Where the hell am I?
Colonel "Madman" Maddox: Barstow. Where are you coming from?
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: San Francisco. Been chasing a Jap squadron for a day and a half. I lost 'em somewhere over Fresno.
Telephone Operator: I'm from Moline, Illinois.
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: Tough shit.