Dingle: Wiggle my ears and tickle my toes, methinks I see a baby's nose! It's more than a nose. There's a whole baby attached to it. Better call my brothers! Wingle! Bingle! Tingle! Zingle.
Zingle: What is it, Dingle?
Wingle: It's a baby, Zingle.
Tingle: A baby what, Wingle?
Bingle: A baby baby, Tingle.
Dingle: I like babies, Bingle.
Bingle: Our baby's the best baby of them all, Wingle.
James Pepper: You know, there's an old saying, Miss Sally. There's no law west of Dodge and no God west of the Pecos. Right, Mr. Chisum?
John Simpson Chisum: Wrong, Mr. Pepper. Because no matter where people go, sooner or later there's the law. And sooner or later they find God's already been there.
Hogan: I don't mind killing em for ya, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sweat over em.
Mulholland: We're doing murder, your grace.
Duke of Wellington: I hope to God... that I've fought my last battle.
John O'Hanlan: Well, how much money does he need to get her liver fixed?
Jenny: Five hundred dollars.
John O'Hanlan: Five hundred dollars for a liver?
Jenny: That's what the big doctor in Chicago charges. And he's got all kinds of fancy letters in back of his name.
John O'Hanlan: I don't care what's in back of his name! Five hundred dollars - that's more than you have to pay for a good horse.
Oddball: A Sherman can give you a very nice... edge.
Dr. Jones: Mr, UH?
Cord McNally: Doesn't matter.
Dr. Jones: Well, Mr Doesn't matter we ought to give them one last good yell, they usually yell a lot when I give them a shot of this.
Cord McNally: YOW! That's the real stuff.
Dr. Jones: Well, if you had been a good enough actor I wouldn't have used it.
Cord McNally: Cord McNally.
Thomas O'Malley: Humans don't really worry too much about their pets.
Soldier: Where ya goin', General?
Patton: Berlin! I'm going to personally shoot that paper-hangin' son of a bitch.
President Bradshaw: Sir, you are before a court of law.
Charles I: I see I am before a power.
Ebenezer Scrooge: How shall I ever understand this world? There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty, and yet, there is nothing it condemns with such severity as the pursuit of wealth.
George Kellerman: My wife can verify that. Gwen?
Gwen Kellerman: I can verify that.
Old Lodge Skins: Today is a good day to die.
Hugh "Wavy Gravy" Romney: Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.
Colonel Cathcart: You're a disgrace. I'd like to know how you got to be a Captain, anyway.
Yossarian: You promoted me.
Colonel Cathcart: That has got nothing to do with it.
Sidney Bliss: I don't want much. Just to worship at your feet.
Esme Crowfoot: I've got better bits.
Duke d'Escargot: I warn you gentlemen, I am not to be trifled with. To pull the tail of a lion is to open the mouth of trouble and reveal the teeth of revenge biting the tongue of deceit.