Col. Thaddeus Gearhart: If it's the last thing I do, I'll have that entire band transferred to Alaska.
Zeke Kelso: You mean you want me to tail the cat as if he's a person?
Supervisor, Mr. Newton: Unless it would be easier to tail him as a cat.
Count Emilio Ponticelli: It is a pity that the race will now be won by a Protestant.
Mother Superior: A Protestant? Sisters, don't stand there gazing. This good Catholic needs our help.
Dr. Fritz Fassbender: If it fails, then we'll try something else, because I use all kinds of unorthodox methods. For example, I've had the greatest success shutting people in dark closets.
Lucy Van Pelt: I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.
Charlie Brown: What is it you want?
Lucy Van Pelt: Real estate.