Running Buffalo: Swell party, where's the whisky?
Reggie Lampert: I already know an awful lot of people, and until one of them dies I couldn't possibly meet anyone else.
Peter Joshua: Well, if anyone goes on the critical list, let me know.
Harry McAfee: The next time I have a daughter, I hope it's a boy.
[Sir Charles Lytton kisses Princess Dala.]
Princess Dala: If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.
Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Jolly nasty accident there. Jolly lucky nobody was hurt.
Mrs. Marcus: Where did you get that funny accent? Are you from Harvard or something?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Harvard? Rather not. I'm English.
Mrs. Marcus: Sounds so foreign.
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Really?
Michael Patrick 'Guns' Donovan: Gilhooley?
Marquis Andre de Lage: Gilhooley.
Lelani Dedham: Oh, Uncle Guns, please don't fight, don't spoil our party.
Sally Dedham: You stay out of it.
Luki Dedham: Go on Uncle Guns. Knock his block off.
Michael Patrick 'Guns' Donovan: I'll knock both his blocks off.
Moustache: To be overly honest in a dishonest world is like plucking a chicken against the wind... you'll only wind up with a mouth full of feathers.
Big Daddy: The pit! Bring me my pendulum, kiddies, I feel like swinging.
Mrs. Fraleigh: There's nothing more fulfilling in life than having a baby.
Homer Smith: I'm gonna' build me a chapel.
Professor Julius Kelp: Well, just don't do something, sit there.
Dr. Craven: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, / Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. / While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, / As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door./ "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door. / Only this and nothing more."
Albert Poop-Decker: If you've got a heart of oak, it's got a worm in it.
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: Are you the boss or something?
Ted Watson: I'm what they call the something manager. My advice to you is to be off.
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: You mean buzz off?
Ted Watson: No, but you're getting warm.