Tess Silverman McLeod: You are a petty, greedy, money hungry... cattle barron.
Nick Ryan: Well then try this, we're over.
Tess Silverman McLeod: We never began.
Nick Ryan: Well fantastic, we agree.
Tess Silverman McLeod: Yeah you bet we do.
Deputy Travis Junior: Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you know Jeff Gordon's gonna die.
Hamilton Burger: Incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial.
Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.
Cora: Love is weakness. It feels real now, at the start it always does, but it's an illusion. It fades and then you're left with nothing!
Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Got B.O.? Get DEO.
Mac Taylor: You're not a doctor. You're a murderer with a medical degree.
Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.
DSU Martin Schenk: I know men like you the way you know men like me, and I know you wouldn't have done this if you believed there was the least chance of it coming back on you. Well, guess what: it's come back on you like the Hand of God, and the next words from your mouth will determine the weight and velocity of the staggering tonnage of shit that's about to plummet onto your head.
Rev. Morgan Hamilton: We cannot fight hate with hate. What are we teaching our children today? That will make things better tomorrow?
Stephen Fry: When I was seventeen I had already tried fourteen different jobs, married twice, fathered many many many many children, eaten a perfectly enormous quantity of food over a long time period, been weaned off six types of class A dangerous drug, given up smoking, taken it up again, given it up again, taken it up again, given taking it up and taken giving it up again and again and again and again. By the time I was twenty, alcohol had never passed my lips, yet I was a reckless and predatory alcoholic: my life was in pieces, my marriages were shattered, my children lay in ruins, I was paying alimony along the sinuses, behind the dark interior passages of the skull and through the nose. But at thirty, at thirty came the chance to redeem a bin-liner of broken promises. If I didn't take that chance what would I be? What would I become? Just another friendless acid spot on the back buttock of a weeping society. So I took it, took the chance, picked up the ball and ran, went for it, threw caution to the teeth of the gale, never looked back, just keep running, I did it. Forget the past, there's nothing there, not even memories, just a road you never travelled unwinding backwards to a place you never came from, where fruit grows on trees you never climbed, in an orchard where you lost your virginity to a boy called Timothy who died of Horlicks poisoning before you were born. No answers there...
Hugh Laurie: tephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen.
Stephen Fry: Yes?
Hugh Laurie: Go and have a lie down.
Stephen Fry: OK. [walks off.].
Darrin Stephens: Sam, don't expect your mother to be gracious. She doesn't do imitations.
Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?
Opie's Group - S8-E9
Andy: Clara, sometimes a parent can't see what he should do, and sometimes it takes a person from the outside to show him. And I'd like to thank you.
Clara: Groovy.
Wayne Unser: Don't buy into that white-trash myth, these guys are not cretins. Jax Teller is formidable; as smart as he is dangerous.
Jack Ryan: I can't go to Yemen!
James Greer: Why not?
Jack Ryan: I'm an analyst. I don't interrogate people, I write reports.
James Greer: Well that's gonna make a doozy. Get on the fuckin' plane.