Best TV quotes of all time

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
What's New, Scooby-Doo? picture

Pompeii and Circumstance - S1-E12

Saladicus: Those who are about to fight, salute me. I am the Emperor Caesar Saladicus. Do you have any last requests?
Shaggy: Hold the anchovies.

Quantom X Premium member
More What's New, Scooby-Doo? quotes
Smallville picture

Shimmer - S1-E10

Lana Lang: That's the thing about Clark Kent. He's not always there when you want him... But he's always there when you need him.

More Smallville quotes
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody picture

Day Care - S2-E3

Zack: [Watching Cody calming a baby.] Wow, how'd you figure out that rock and bounce technique?
Cody: It's not a technique. I just really have to go to the bathroom!

More The Suite Life of Zack and Cody quotes
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme picture

Linda La Hughes: I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire! I'd get my bellows out and i'd stoke her up good and proper! Burn, bitch! Burn.

More Gimme, Gimme, Gimme quotes
Community picture

Comparative Religion - S1-E12

Jeff Winger: To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. I see the appeal, and I would never take it away from anyone. But I would also never stand in line for it.

More Community quotes
Wrecked picture

Karen: Do you know what this means? We're in the kill zone of a black caiman.
Florence: A black gay man?
Karen: Do you, do you really think that's what I just said?
Florence: I don't know. It sounded like you said...
Karen: You think this is a kill zone of a black gay man?
Florence: Well, anything sounds stupid when you say it like that.

Bishop73
More Wrecked quotes
Wings picture

Joe: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a wonderful Christmas.

More Wings quotes
Remington Steele picture

Kessler: Who are you?
Remington Steele: Just a happy go lucky tourist out to see a bit of the world.
Neff: Is that why you've got five passports, from five different countries, in five different names?
Remington Steele: Kept trying for a good picture.

More Remington Steele quotes
The Facts of Life picture

Blair Warner: I don't go to wing-dings, I go to cotillions.
Jo Polniaczek: Well if that is a dance at the Hillcrest Country Club, then your cotillion and my wing-ding are the same thing.

More The Facts of Life quotes
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation picture

Lucky Strike - S3-E16

Nick Stokes: There's a sucker born every minute.
Gil Grissom: Yep, and they all come to Vegas.

More CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes
The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. picture

Lord Bowler: Uh oh. You hit the sheriff.
Brisco County Jr.: Yeah, but I did not hit the deputy.

More The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. quotes
Hustle picture

Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Albert, what the hell were you doing in a church today?
Albert Stroller: Gil Stewart died this afternoon. I was there at the end.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Oh God, I'm so sorry Albert. You two were like brothers.
Albert Stroller: We worked Vegas together. That man was made for bright lights. Poor bastard - died of a stroke in a dental surgery.
Mickey 'Bricks' Stone: Well, someone should sue them.
Albert Stroller: Aye, he was pretending to be the dentist.

More Hustle quotes
Fantastic Four: The Animated Series picture

The Silver Surfer & the Coming of Galactus: Part 1 - S1-E5

Mr. Fantastic: Galactus must have seen us. Why didn't he say anything?
Uatu: Do you greet the cockroaches on your kitchen floor?

Phaneron Premium member
More Fantastic Four: The Animated Series quotes
Beast Wars: Transformers picture

Cheetor: We've got to stop them before they reach the base.
Ratrap: That's your department, Sky Cat. Fire up. We'll be right behind you.
Dinobot: My weapon is depleted.
Cheetor: I need a running start.
Ratrap: Criminy, the pair of ya! I've gotta DO everything?

More Beast Wars: Transformers quotes
Melrose Place picture

Nurse Amy: She's your wife's landlord. That would be your present wife, number four, isn't it? And she wants all your belongings out of the house by to-night.
Michael: And did she say why?
Nurse Amy: Nooo, but I'm sure we'll be reading about it in tomorrow morning's newspaper.

More Melrose Place quotes
Nostalgia Critic picture Video

Batman and Robin - S1-E19

Nostalgia Critic: A Bat... Credit Card?.. They gave him a Bat... Credit Card? They had the balls... to give one of the greatest superheroes of all time... A bat... credit card? nooo! nooo! Does not compute! Does not compute. (00:08:25)

Quantom X Premium member
More Nostalgia Critic quotes

24 (2001)

24 picture

Andre Drazen: If Plan A fails you go to Plan B, not Plan A recycled.

More 24 quotes
Spider-Man picture

Sins of the Fathers Chapter 9: Tombstone - S3-E9

Tombstone: Come down here and fight like a man.
Spider-Man: I don't suppose I could convince you to come up here and fight like a spider.

More Spider-Man quotes
Quantum Leap picture

Sam: Leaping about in time, I've found that there are some things in life that I can't change, and there are some things that I can. To save a life, to change a heart, to make the right choice. I guess that's what life's about, making the right choice at the right time.

More Quantum Leap quotes
Pushing Daisies picture

Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: Do you think dying has made me morbid?

More Pushing Daisies quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.