Best TV quotes of all time

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Wings picture

Joe Hackett: This is the dumbest thing Brian's ever done, and he once painted me blue.

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Star Wars: Clone Wars picture

Chapter 12 - S2-E2

Oro Dassyne: I wonder how many they'll send. We've got so much firepower in here, these walls are ray-shielded. They can't take this fort. It'll probably be, uh, fifty Jedi. They'll need at least that many. Huh, maybe a hundred Jedi! They'll never take this base with less. Ha, they'll need an army of Jedi!
Battle Droid: I have a visual.
Oro Dassyne: Jedi?
Battle Droid: I think so.
Oro Dassyne: How many? A thousand?
Battle Droid: No.
Oro Dassyne: Eighty?
Battle Droid: No, sir.
Oro Dassyne: What? Fifty?
Battle Droid: Less.
Oro Dassyne: Forty? Come on, how many?
Battle Droid: Two.
Oro Dassyne: What?! Give me those!

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Reno 911! picture

Deputy Travis Junior: Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you know Jeff Gordon's gonna die.

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Legends of Tomorrow picture

Leonard Snart: This isn't my first prison break.

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F Troop picture

Corporal Randolph Agarn: How do you get to Fort Courage? That's easy. You take a right at the rock that looks like a bear, then a left at the bear that looks like a rock.

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Stranger Things picture

Multiple characters: Mouth breather.

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Desperate Housewives picture

Silly People - S2-E14

Carlos: You know who you are, Gaby? You're the kind of person who would have turned away Mary and Joseph from the inn.
Gabrielle: Well, they should have called ahead.

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Young Sheldon picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Georgie: Admit it, he's adopted.
Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Missy: I wish I was adopted.
Mary: That can still be arranged.

Cubs Fan

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The Tick picture

Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.

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Iron Man: Armored Adventures picture

Iron Forged in Fire: Part One - S1-E1

Math Professor: What you’re looking at here is widely thought to be the hardest math equation in the world, and has yet to be solved. What we are doing today is far less difficult, and...
Tony Stark: Sir? 42.

Quantom X Premium member

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Friday Night Dinner picture

The Sofa-Bed - S1-E1

Jackie: And Martin! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop eating out of the bin!
Johnny: Classic.
Adam: Classic.

Ssiscool Premium member

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Law & Order picture

Det. Lennie Briscoe: I'm trying to decide what to arrest you for - obstruction of justice, harboring a fugitive or just being a general pain in the ass.

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The Facts of Life picture

Blair Warner: I don't go to wing-dings, I go to cotillions.
Jo Polniaczek: Well if that is a dance at the Hillcrest Country Club, then your cotillion and my wing-ding are the same thing.

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Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255 Premium member

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Miami Vice picture

Sonny Crockett: I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

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The Vampire Diaries picture

Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.

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