Best TV quotes of all time

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The Dick Van Dyke Show picture

Rob Petrie: I want to take a nap before I go to sleep.

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Once Upon a Time picture

The Evil Queen - S2-E20

Cora: Love is weakness. It feels real now, at the start it always does, but it's an illusion. It fades and then you're left with nothing!

Francisco Guerra

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Dexter picture

Dexter: I am a father, a son, a serial killer.

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The Tick picture

Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.

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New Girl picture

Nick Miller: You're a freaking gold digger, Jess.
Jess: Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world.

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Archer picture

The Papal Chase - S4-E11

Lana: Do you need to get that?
Malory: No. I'm sure whoever it is...
Cheryl: It's the Vatican. Line one. Jesus! [Cheryl gasps.] Shit. I hope he didn't here that. [Cheryl gasps again.] Or that. Shit.
Malory: Just put him through, you idiot.
Cheryl: Okay! Jesus! [Cheryl gasps.] Shit.

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Wings picture

Joe Hackett: This is the dumbest thing Brian's ever done, and he once painted me blue.

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Beauty & the Beast picture

Mouse: Okay good! Okay fine.

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The Facts of Life picture

Blair Warner: I don't go to wing-dings, I go to cotillions.
Jo Polniaczek: Well if that is a dance at the Hillcrest Country Club, then your cotillion and my wing-ding are the same thing.

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Miami Vice picture

Sonny Crockett: I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

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The Vampire Diaries picture

Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.

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F Troop picture

Corporal Randolph Agarn: How do you get to Fort Courage? That's easy. You take a right at the rock that looks like a bear, then a left at the bear that looks like a rock.

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Legends of Tomorrow picture

Vandal Savage: Who are you to stand up against me, Vandal Savage, destroyer of empires.
Leonard Snart: Leonard Snart, robber of ATMs.

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Bottom picture

Parade - S2-E4

Eddie: So, er, what did you do then?
Falklands War Vet: Well, I'd rather not talk about it.
Eddie: Why? Is it embarrassing? Shit your pants, did you? Cry, did you?
Falklands War Vet: Quite the opposite, actually.
Eddie: What, you sucked water in through your eyes?

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Friday Night Dinner picture

The Sofa-Bed - S1-E1

Jackie: And Martin! How many times do I have to tell you? Stop eating out of the bin!
Johnny: Classic.
Adam: Classic.

Ssiscool Premium member

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