A Day in the Life of Retsuko - S1-E1
Fenneko: Your chill game is something to behold.
Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.
The Post-Modern Prometheus - S5-E5
[After spilling coffee on his lap.]
Mulder: Great, now my crotch will be up all night.
Robert Romano: The operation was a screaming success if your desired outcome was paralysis.
Conner: Tell me again.
Raven: You're the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms.
Jay Pritchett: God knows I couldn't love them more, but even the Kennedy's didn't get together this often.
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: I'll tell you why the Hagens live so long.
Festus Haggen: Why?
Dr. Galen 'Doc' Adams: 'Cause they're too dumb to know they're dead.
Jake's Mom: Your sister really looks up to you.
Jake Long: She's two feet tall! She looks up to everybody!
Miley Stewart: I can't believe it. I'm going out with a ninth grader! Wooo!
Robby Ray Stewart: Well, don't believe it, because I'm not letting you go. Wooo!
Reverend Jim: a Space Odyssey - S2-E3
Jim: Can you guess how many drugs I did?
Elaine: A lot.
Jim: Wow! Right on the nose!
David Banner: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Kelly Grayson: This is going to sound like I'm talking out my ass.
Isaac: Then please try to enunciate.
Hard Times - S1-E3
Crowley: That unicorn's gonna make a run for it! Oh, it's too late. It's too late! Ah, you've still got one of them.
The Hostile Hospital: Part One - S2-E7
Violet Baudelaire: Why do you hate us so much?
Count Olaf: Because it's fun.
Rob Petrie: I want to take a nap before I go to sleep.
Benjamin Linus: Your flight crashed on September 22,2004. Today is November 29th. That means you've been on this island for sixty-nine days. And yes, we do have contact with the outside world, Jack. That's how we know that during those sixty-nine days, your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away, Boston Red Sox won the World Series.
[Jack begins to laugh.]
Benjamin Linus: What?
Jack Shepard: [Still laughing.] If you wanted me to believe that, you probably should have picked somebody else besides the Red Sox.
Bejmain Linus: No, they were down 3-0 against the Yankees in the Championship Series and then won eight straight.
Jack Shepard: [Skeptically.] Sure, sure. Of course they did.
[Ben turns on a VCR.]
Joe Buck: Back to Foulke... Red Sox fans have longed to hear it! The Boston Red Sox are world champions! A clean sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Red Sox celebrate in the middle of the diamond here at Busch Stadium.
Modern Men - S8-E2
Uncle Albert: Is that the radio I hear, Rodney?
Rodney: No, Elton John popped in and he's rehearsing in the kitchen!