Best TV quotes of all time

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Criminal Minds picture

Extreme Aggressor - S1-E1

Agent Hotchner: This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.
Man: You look too young to have gone to medical school.
Agent Reid: They are PhD's. Three of them.
Man: What, are you a genius or something?
Agent Reid: I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute...yes, I'm a genius.

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American Dragon: Jake Long picture

Jake's Mom: Your sister really looks up to you.
Jake Long: She's two feet tall! She looks up to everybody!

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Halo Legends picture

1337: Well... I'm one heck of a mama myself.

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The Tick picture

Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.

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Blue Bloods picture

Frank Reagan: I'm the PC. I know everything.

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The Brady Bunch picture

Bobby Brady: Mom always says not to play ball in the house.

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Once Upon a Time picture

The Evil Queen - S2-E20

Cora: Love is weakness. It feels real now, at the start it always does, but it's an illusion. It fades and then you're left with nothing!

Francisco Guerra
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Friday Night Dinner picture

The Girlfriend - S3-E1

Jackie: Oh I love your hair
Emma: Oh thanks. I grew it myself.

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Doctor Who picture

Castrovalva - S19-E1

The Doctor: That's the trouble with regeneration, you never quite know what you're going to get. (00:12:15)

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The Legend of Korra picture

Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11

Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.

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Peaky Blinders picture

Grace Burgess: You think I am a whore?
Tommy Shelby: Everyone's a whore, Grace. We just sell different parts of ourselves.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles picture

The Mutation Situation - S2-E1

Donatello: It has butt cannons? IT HAS BUTT CANNONS?!

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The Incredible Hulk picture

David Banner: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

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Lost picture

The Glass Ballerina - S3-E2

Benjamin Linus: Your flight crashed on September 22,2004. Today is November 29th. That means you've been on this island for sixty-nine days. And yes, we do have contact with the outside world, Jack. That's how we know that during those sixty-nine days, your fellow Americans re-elected George W. Bush, Christopher Reeve has passed away, Boston Red Sox won the World Series.
[Jack begins to laugh.]
Benjamin Linus: What?
Jack Shepard: [Still laughing.] If you wanted me to believe that, you probably should have picked somebody else besides the Red Sox.
Bejmain Linus: No, they were down 3-0 against the Yankees in the Championship Series and then won eight straight.
Jack Shepard: [Skeptically.] Sure, sure. Of course they did.
[Ben turns on a VCR.]
Joe Buck: Back to Foulke... Red Sox fans have longed to hear it! The Boston Red Sox are world champions! A clean sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Red Sox celebrate in the middle of the diamond here at Busch Stadium.

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Charlie and Lola picture

The Most Wonderfullest Picnic in the Whole Wide World - S1-E12

Lola: Fun, fun, funny and sun, sun, sunny.
Lotta: Yum, yum, yummy in my tum, tum, tummy.

heartis
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What's New, Scooby-Doo? picture

Pompeii and Circumstance - S1-E12

Saladicus: Those who are about to fight, salute me. I am the Emperor Caesar Saladicus. Do you have any last requests?
Shaggy: Hold the anchovies.

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Stranger Things picture

Eleven: Friends don't lie.

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Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan picture

Jack Ryan: I can't go to Yemen!
James Greer: Why not?
Jack Ryan: I'm an analyst. I don't interrogate people, I write reports.
James Greer: Well that's gonna make a doozy. Get on the fuckin' plane.

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Sons of Anarchy picture

Toil and Till - S7-E2

Wayne Unser: Don't buy into that white-trash myth, these guys are not cretins. Jax Teller is formidable; as smart as he is dangerous.

Friso94
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Police Squad! picture

Warner: What do I do?!?
Frank: I believe you are in the textile industry.

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