Best TV quotes of all time

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Smallville picture

Shimmer - S1-E10

Lana Lang: That's the thing about Clark Kent. He's not always there when you want him... But he's always there when you need him.

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The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin picture

C.J.: What the eye doesn't see is goose for the gander.

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Scorpion picture

Crazy Train - S2-E7

Cabe Gallo: And I'm telling you, get me your supervisor or I'm gonna come down there and kick every square inch of your ass. I got so-cal D.O.T on the line. Total incompetence.
Toby: Yeah, you keep sweet talkin 'em Cabe, you're doin' great.

The_Iceman

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The Story of Tracy Beaker picture

Louise: You, you chocolate thief.

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The Good Place picture

Michael: You humans take something wonderful and ruin it just a little bit so you can have more.

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One Day at a Time picture

Ann Romano Royer: That Was BVD.
Ed Cooper, Julie's and Barbara's Father: BVD?
Ann Romano Royer: Before Vicky, Darling.

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Rescue Me picture

Chief Jerry Reilly: Blessed screaming Jesus on a whole-wheat goddamn cracker.

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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia picture

Jackie: What is it that you do again?
Charlie Kelly: I'm like a janitor at - um, I'm a... full-on rapist, you know? Uh, Africans, dyslexics, children, that sorta thing.

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Grace Under Fire picture

Wade Swoboda: I love you like a Sister.
Grace Kelly: Oh, Wade. I'm Southern. Please don't tell me you love me like a sister.

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Highway to Heaven picture

Mark Gordon: Cute, Jonathan. Real cute.

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The Rockford Files picture

Electric Larry: Harry, the soda machine at the bar is busted again.
Harry Smick: It was fixed last week.
Electric Larry: Tell that to the customer drinking scotch and air.

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Band of Brothers picture

Guarnere: Jesus Christ, we gotta do all this with a C.O. who has his head so far up his fuckin' ass, that lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.

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The Munsters picture

Herman Picks a Winner - S2-E16

Herman: After I'm through with you, you're never going to gamble again as long as you live.
Eddie: How much do you wanna bet?
Herman: I'll bet you a quarter, and I'll give you two to one!
Lily: HERMAN!

Movie Nut

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Melrose Place picture

Nurse Amy: She's your wife's landlord. That would be your present wife, number four, isn't it? And she wants all your belongings out of the house by to-night.
Michael: And did she say why?
Nurse Amy: Nooo, but I'm sure we'll be reading about it in tomorrow morning's newspaper.

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