Best mystery TV quotes of all time

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Monk picture

Adrian Monk: Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.

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Criminal Minds picture

Extreme Aggressor - S1-E1

Agent Hotchner: This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.
Man: You look too young to have gone to medical school.
Agent Reid: They are PhD's. Three of them.
Man: What, are you a genius or something?
Agent Reid: I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute...yes, I'm a genius.

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Charmed picture

Cole: Phoebe, I love you. I don't know what's going on but maybe I can help. Would you like me to kill someone for you?

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Dark Shadows picture

Angelique: Let me give you one word of advice, Dr. Hoffman. The pursuit of Barnabas Collins can lead to nothing but misery. He is a cold, harsh, unresponsive man."
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Who made him that way?

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Law & Order: Special Victims Unit picture

Born Psychopath - S14-E19

Dr. Huang: I'm conflicted about labeling a ten year old a psychopath. But...
Don Cragen: "But"?
Dr. Huang: I've had a chill like that two times in my life. With death row serial killers.

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Castle picture

Little Girl Lost - S1-E9

Beckett: [Growing weary of Castle and Sorenson trying to one-up each other.] Oh, for god's sake, why don't you both just drop your pants and get it over with?
Castle: I'm game.

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Columbo picture

Columbo: Oh, I didn't come to ask any more questions. I came to arrest you.

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Foyle's War picture

DCS Christopher Foyle: The uniform suits you.
Andrew Foyle: Thanks. I wish I could say the same about your dressing gown.

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NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service picture

Yankee White - S1-E1

Gibbs: I heard you quit, Agent Todd.
Kate Todd: Happy news travels fast. Yes, I resigned. It was the right thing to do.
Gibbs: Yep. Pull that crap at NCIS, I won't give you a chance to resign.
Kate Todd: Is that a job offer?

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In the Heat of the Night picture

J.J. Jeffson: Well, you know what the Lord says: "Go forth and multiply, and fill the earth."
Bill Gillespie: But I don't think he meant for you to do that by yourself.

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CSI: Crime Scene Investigation picture

Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.

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