Best comedy TV quotes of all time

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Movie Quote Quiz
Barney Miller picture

Captain Barney Miller: Arrest the first naked guy you see with a dirty mouth.

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King of the Hill picture

Hank: Calm down, Boomhauer! I can't understand a word you're saying.

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Rescue Me picture

Chief Jerry Reilly: Blessed screaming Jesus on a whole-wheat goddamn cracker.

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Ugly Betty picture

Amanda Tanen: Can you believe he's asking Betty for dating advice? That's like asking Britney Spears for parenting tips.

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The Good Place picture

Michael: You humans take something wonderful and ruin it just a little bit so you can have more.

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Rules of Engagement picture

Jeff Bingham: Don't play dumb with me. It's a game you can't win.

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The Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy picture

Hoss Delgado: Give it to us straight, Goodburger. Is our little Remus.
Mandy: Billy.
Hoss Delgado: ...Billy, on the bullet train to Smartsville, or is he riding the slow pony to the rubber forest?

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McHale's Navy picture

Capt. Binghamton: Commander, how would you and your men like two weeks with nothing to do but play gin rummy, go surfing, have luaus with steel drum bands, dancing girls, hmm?
Lieut. Comdr. Quinton McHale: Two whole weeks? Woo hooo, oh that'd be a wonderful change sir. Yes sir.
Capt. Binghamton: Knock it off McHale. That's what you do every week.

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The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin picture

C.J.: What the eye doesn't see is goose for the gander.

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Happy Days picture

The Fonz: You're dreaming about a girl you've never met?
Richie Cunningham: Come on, Fonz, haven't you ever dreamed?
The Fonz: Hey I'm not the dreamer! I'm the dreamee.

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Step By Step picture

Jean-Luc: What do you think?
Carol Foster Lambert: I think you look like Barbara Eden from "I Dream Of Jeannie."
Jean-Luc: Well, I think you look like Crissy from "Three's Company".

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The Munsters picture

Herman Picks a Winner - S2-E16

Herman: After I'm through with you, you're never going to gamble again as long as you live.
Eddie: How much do you wanna bet?
Herman: I'll bet you a quarter, and I'll give you two to one!
Lily: HERMAN!

Movie Nut

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The Venture Bros. picture

Brock Samson: Don't you have nothing else to do but harp on Dr. Venture? Why haven't you tried the World Domination thing, you afraid of the big leagues?
The Monarch: Please. How stupid do I look to you? World Domination. I'll leave that to the religious nuts or the Republicans, thank you.

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Wilfred picture

Ryan Newman: Behold... The instrument of Drew's destruction. Bzzmm... My ping pong paddle from when I was all state table tennis champion.
Wilfred: So, chemistry, biking and ping pong. I guess my only question is, why were you not blowjobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?

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The Powerpuff Girls picture

Police Chief: Well I'll be bamboozled.

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