Best comedy TV quotes of all time

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Movie Quote Quiz
Mad About You picture

Paul: Just like that: bing, bang, boom?
Jamie: At this point, I'd settle for the boom.
Paul: You don't want the bing and the bang?
Jamie: I did when we started.
Paul: And now?
Jamie: I'm over it.
Paul: You're a very complex woman.
Jamie: You don't want the boom?
Paul: 'Course I want the boom. Guys always want the boom. We only made up the whole bing and the bang just to get to boom.

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My Life as a Teenage Robot picture

Male Receptionist: Oh, boy. Where to begin... where to begin? First of all, fatty, I'm not bowing down to anyone. Second of all, unless you're here for a supermodel audition you're not seeing anyone's master. Third of all, shoo.

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Coupling picture

Jane: Do they really call me the one with the breasts?
Susan: Yes.
Jane: Then what do they call you?
Susan: Susan.

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Grace Under Fire picture

Wade Swoboda: I love you like a Sister.
Grace Kelly: Oh, Wade. I'm Southern. Please don't tell me you love me like a sister.

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30 Rock picture

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz Lemon: That word bums me out unless it's between the words "meat" and "pizza."

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Dharma & Greg picture

Greg: You wanna have children?
Dharma: Yeah, unless you wanna have 'em.

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Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman picture

Superman: But, when I save a life, in that instant, I know two things that most people will never figure out: Why I'm here, and how I can make a difference.

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Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines picture

Dick Dastardly: Wake up, Muttley! You're dreaming again! / You're not Robin Hood, and you're not Gunga Din! / You're not a brave knight, or a king that's been crowned / You're just plain old Muttley, the snickering hound.

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No Ordinary Family picture

No Ordinary Animal - S1-E18

J.J.: So far this guy's only attacked supers. So he must have known somehow that Katie has powers.
Katie: How? I didn't even know I had powers. And also, how the hell do I have powers?

Bishop73

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Martin picture

Martin: You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there.
Pam: You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there.
Martin: There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark and Lovely on damn near every corner you pass.

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Last of the Summer Wine picture

Crums - S10-E7

Seymour: People don't realise there is an imposter running around pretending to be Father Christmas.
Clegg: It happens every election.

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Sister, Sister picture

Ray: Money doesn't grow on trees.
Tamera: Yeah if it did, I'd be outside rakin'.

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The Fast Show picture

Swiss Toni: Putting up a tent is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Unzip the door, put up your pole, and slip into the old bag.

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Wrecked picture

Karen: Do you know what this means? We're in the kill zone of a black caiman.
Florence: A black gay man?
Karen: Do you, do you really think that's what I just said?
Florence: I don't know. It sounded like you said...
Karen: You think this is a kill zone of a black gay man?
Florence: Well, anything sounds stupid when you say it like that.

Bishop73

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Boy Meets World picture

Me and Mr. Joad - S2-E4

Mr. Feeny: I realise that all you 7th-graders are delicate, adolescent flowers, just beginning your high school blooming. And so I say this with utmost sensitivity: take this test, or die!

Phaneron Premium member

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Remington Steele picture

Kessler: Who are you?
Remington Steele: Just a happy go lucky tourist out to see a bit of the world.
Neff: Is that why you've got five passports, from five different countries, in five different names?
Remington Steele: Kept trying for a good picture.

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