Best comedy TV quotes of all time

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Movie Quote Quiz
Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends picture

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Secret door, secret door, secret door, secret door, secret door, secret door.

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Gilligan's Island picture

Skipper Jonas Grumby: Ginger, I've got a problem... I've got a real problem... Now you're a girl, right?
Ginger Grant: Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem.

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The A-Team picture

Murdock: I wish I could just jump in the water and live like a fish.
B.A. Baracus: Shut up fool, you ain't no fish.

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Sanford and Son picture

Aunt Esther: Watch it, sucka.

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Boston Legal picture

Denny Crane: Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president.

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The Tick picture

Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.

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The Story of Tracy Beaker picture

Louise: You, you chocolate thief.

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Eureka picture

Nathan Stark: Good job, Carter... Wow, that didn't even leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Marshall Jack Carter: Wait for it.
Nathan Stark: ...Oh, there it is.

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New Girl picture

Nick Miller: You're a freaking gold digger, Jess.
Jess: Do you think that if I were a gold digger, I'd be interested in you? I would be the worst gold digger in the world.

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Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255 Premium member

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Good Times picture

Penny: Is he here?
Michael: Is who here?
Penny: I don't know his name, but he's tall, skinny, and beautiful.
Michael: Hold on now. Tall, and skinny we've got, but beautiful?

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Fuller House picture

Kimmy Gibbler: My moves are all that and a bag of chips, so talk to the hand loser! Oh snap, you go girl! I think I just did.

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The Royle Family picture

Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.

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The Real Ghostbusters picture

Egon Spengler: Notice the vacant stare, the completely mindless look. That could only mean one thing.
Winston Zeddemore (I): She's from California?
Egon Spengler: No. She's been hypnotized.

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Courage the Cowardly Dog picture

Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.

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Family Matters picture

Steve: Laura, this is a... A really special moment and... Well, I think we should celebrate it by... Getting married.
Laura: No.
Steve: Engaged?
Laura: No.
Steve: Going steady?
Laura: No.
Steve: A date?
Laura: No.
Steve: A kiss?
Laura: No.
Steve: A handshake?
Laura: No.
Steve: I'll see ya tomorrow?
Laura: Yeah.
Steve Urkel: I'll take it.

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Workaholics picture

Adam Demamp: I'm like one of those dragons from Avatar.

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Young Sheldon picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Georgie: Admit it, he's adopted.
Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Missy: I wish I was adopted.
Mary: That can still be arranged.

Cubs Fan

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