Col. Nathan R. Jessep: Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.
You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you, " and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Ace: Tell them what I'm saying. [To Wachootoo tribe] I come in peace.
Ouda: White devil say, "I will harm you."
Ace: I couldn't help but notice that Eqinsu Ocha part. Did you just refer to me as White Devil?
Ouda: This how they know you.
Ace: Leave that part out from now on. [To tribe] I represent the princess.
Ouda: I am a princess.
Ace: War is hell. The last thing we want is a fight.
Ouda: I want to fight. So go to Hell.
Detective: Now, I know you think you're smart, see, 'cause you got all them flashy clothes, you got that big car there, you got all them black b**ches working for you.
Dolemite: You forgot about the white ones.
Uncle Vernon: And Dudley, you will be?
Dudley Dursley: I'll be waiting to open the door.
Uncle Vernon: Excellent. And you?
Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.
Goon: What the fuck is this?
[Picks up a bowling ball hesitatingly.]
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
[Having pulled over a speeding driver.]
Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?
[They go up to the car.]
Driver: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
[The man gives him his license.]
Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
Driver: [laughing.] Sorry.
Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Driver: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
[Foster stares at him.]
Foster: All right meow, where were we?
Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?
Driver: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
[The man laughs.]
Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?
Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
[The man is uncontrollably laughing.]
Foster: You stop laughing right meow!
Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
[Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]
Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
[Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]
Benjamin Button: For what it's worth, it's never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit... Start whenever you want... You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you're proud of and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
Randy: There are certain rules one must abide in order to sucuessfully survive a horror movie, rule number one, you can never have sex.
Randy: Big no-no! Big no-no!
Stu: I'd be a dead man.
Randy: Rule number two, you can never drink or do drugs. [Everyone clacks their beers together.] It's the sin factor. An extension of number one. And number three, never, ever, under any circumstances say "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu: Hey, I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: [Dramatically.] I'll be right back!
Randy: Yeah, you bent the rules. I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
Neil McCauley: Roger Van Zant?
Roger Van Zant: Yeah, who's this?
Neil McCauley: You know who this is.
Roger Van Zant: Yes I do, yes I do. I sent a guy to deliver the package. He didn't call, is everything all right?
Neil McCauley: Tell you what, forget the money.
Roger Van Zant: What?
Neil McCauley: Forget the money.
Roger Van Zant: Wh...it's a lot of money. What are you doing? What do you mean, forget the money?
Neil McCauley: What am I doing? I'm talking to an empty telephone.
Roger Van Zant: I don't understand.
Neil McCauley: 'Cause there's a dead man on the other end of this fuckin' line.
Mr. Rate: Would've been a bad job to take, though.
Nick Memphis: How come?
Mr. Rate: Whoever took that shot's probably dead now. That's how conspiracy works. Them boys on the grassy knoll, they were dead within three hours. Buried in the damn desert. Unmarked graves out past Terlingua.
Nick Memphis: And you know this for a fact?
Mr. Rate: Still got the shovel.
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?